Polka dots

Today was black with white polka dots. By that I mean that it was an overall difficult day with sporadic spots of cheer. In 2001 I was figuring out who I was. So was John Mayer. And in 2003 I heard his album "Room For Squares". I remember it vividly : the guitar salesmen loved to listen to him while I worked away at my desk. And despite my holier than others facade, I did too.


Recently, I've been prompted to re-visit things in my past that bring me joy and laughter. I decided to look for "Room For Squares". Sure I could get it on Amazon, or itunes, but I wanted the real deal 2001 copyrighted CD. I'm old school like that :)


I looked for weeks and didn't find it. It wasn't necessarily a priority, so I kind of forgot about it. In a lot of ways I feel like it is 2003. I'm still trying to find out if I'm doing what I'm created for. Today was especially difficult because I tried to pursue something that was totally ten years ago (regarding my career). It was like a slap in the face when that door shut on me. I picked my face up off the floor and went to Walmart. It was the highlight of my day. Let me say this : if Walmart is the highlight of your day, you know you've had a rough day. Anyway, everything that was said in that moment of hard reality brought all my inward thoughts to light.


"Am I living it right?" This is a phrase from Mayer's song, "Why Georgia Why" (off the Room For Squares album), which happens to be my one of my all time favorite songs. It also happens to be the same song I was listening to on the way home from Walmart when I was driving on 85, four exits from my apartment, tempted to leave the car in drive...(you will get this if you've ever heard the song!) Very timely. Thank you God that I found the CD at Walmart and it mirrored what I'm going through in this exact moment.


For a moment, it was 2003 again. But this time, I'm living from the inside out and totally, thankfully identifying with Room For Squares. I'm glad I'm not the only one who has polka dotted days.